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A man who is looking for a man
My Vitals:
Age: 32, Height: 6' 02" (188 cm), Weight: 110 lbs (50 kg), Body Type: slim, Ethnicity: white / european
Where I Live:
UK >> West Midlands >> Birmingham
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Hi there: Name's Matthew, aged 29. Am non-scene. I'm into many modes of entertainment : be that cinema, theatre, etc... and love a good book. I also have a passion for art, fashion and culture. Oh, and I also just got out a relationship. I will be relocating from Redditch to Birmingham over the coming months, and am also, in particular, looking to expand by social circle and hopefully meet a couple of people to form friendships with. Though, please note, I've had my fill of drama and deceitful men, but yes, am still open to forming attachments as friendships. Some tidbits on myself: I enjoy observing the passing of clouds. I assume such pastimes are not much enjoyed by many - though, to be honest which I am] it has my been my experience, via here, thus far, to encounter chaps with either the emotional expanse of a toad, or another variety, whom are of a rather different sort, whereby they pursue you for more eyebrow-raising activities than the merry wonderings of fluffy clouds. Indeed, I would say that this site is made up of those aforementioned, and, also, men completely on drugs, which I find horrible... Others, so lost into 'the scene,' searching for outside acceptance which I find desperately sad, because I believe it should be about self-acceptance, and looking at yourself from the inside-to-the-outside; whereas if someone, for example, starts to question their sexuality, and they feel alone, they can be potentially dragged into that terrible lifestyle, become lost, and be open to the manipulation of others, and their expectations. I certainly don't judge anyone; if anything, my heart goes out to them, for it seems they try to adapt and feel accepted. But, equally, taking the time to explore this part of you is exceedingly difficult and unless you meet someone like-minded, or have a loving support system built around you, it can so easily happen - becoming lost. Furthermore, the crux is that I believe being gay does not change me, and it definitely doesn't define me - it's the person who defines you, not those parts that make up you as a person... Or a flurry of others who stumble from one relationship to the next that lasts two days then lurch into another for a month. Again, I believe this comes back to the almost desperate need for outside validation. Without being with a partner, then they do not know who it is they are. I find these people just as sad. I really do. And I do try to understand it a little, even if a smidge, though I fear because it's not how I am, or even how I think, then I can but grasp only the tip of it all. But personally, I attempt to not associate myself around those with bitchy tendencies, two-faced back-stabbers, and even people that are flighty and, as above, cannot be without a male to feel themselves and validated as a human being. I prefer stability, consistency, loyalty, kindness and compassion, and, to throw another into the mix: non-deceit. Actually happening upon others of similar mind, and even who understand, is terribly tough, though, it does occasional spring up, and its these very real people I form friendships with. For me, I have to feel that a space is safe in which to talk in, and share: I so very much believe and feel (connected both from head to heart, which goes hand-in-hand) that to feel comfortable speaking, and opening up to any level you feel that comfortable at, then it comes back to that extension of a safe space; otherwise, it'll be exposing, and not so safe. And, as an offshoot, how for any space to last and endure, and be real, needs to have a solid foundation, which takes time to build up. It just doesn't happen magically. Even with being on the same wavelength and that the feeling of 'getting someone' then you still must have that base that'll see you through the not so good times, and you bring it back to that foundation. But, perhaps it's how and why a user signs up to this service and what they only need from it, but I still keep an open mind, and focus on those 2% on here, and in life generally, who I feel are similar. Something I've since learnt is that I am quite old-fashioned, with my values and am traditional about what is I want from my life - and, I've let go of people trying to make me feel bad, or even guilty of that, as I recognise that's them, and what they want to transfer on to you; could be they feel uncomfortable, or don't understand you. But that's fine: they don't need to understand me. Just like I don't need to understand them - I can reason it out, but it shouldn't change you to such a drastic extent. Evolve yes: we should always, always, evolve and move forward, but change in the sense when somebody projects a particular something on to you is not great, all told. Oh, and as an aside: I have a liking for Disney. More the animated movies such as The Little Mermaid, which I remember growing up with and loving, than the modern CGI ones. It's good to honour the child within ourselves, I feel. And to also honour those other passions that you like/love. I also really like all-out gory horror films (zombies getting a thumbs-up), rom-coms such as Sandra Bullock's, and I adore the theatre, whether that being a repertory company staging an intimate production (the Birmingham Rep being a favourite venue, as is the RSC at Stratford), or a Shakespearean play. I also love the arts and support any medium from which it springs forth - irrespective of the wide spectrum is actually presented. I also love reading: be that historical biographies, or bios whose subject matter are on highlighted on actors of screen and stage from bygone days, to trashy literature, some select high fantasy; though I'm tending to now devour more biographies than fiction. I just finished reading a tome on Sir Laurence Olivier, and am now beginning one on Cary Grant. Others of note I've enjoyed are: Audrey Hepburn, Bette Davis, Elizabeth I, Marie Antoinette, Henry V, Henry VIII, Bess of Hardwick, Katherine Hepburn, Ava Gardner, Joan Crawford, the ever elegant Grace Kelly, and The Bard: Shakespeare. We all have many different parts that create us, as a person, but it is not any of those single parts that define us: it's you... the person, the sole energy... the human being inside who animates the body you're born into. That's how it is in my mind, anyway. Gosh: I think I ought to have applied my own self-edit button! Ha. Well, I do apologise for wittering on for so long. Thank you for reading. Take care, Matthew. x
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