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A man who is looking for a man
My Vitals:
Age: 61, Height: 5' 08" (173 cm), Weight: 175 lbs (79 kg), Body Type: slim
Where I Live:
USA >> California >> Irvine >> Laguna Niguel
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Getting over the secret Well, I have had so many wonderful men, show me a lot of interest, and many times I wait to a certain time to really let someone know who I am and sometimes the pain of that leads to so much more drama than I think an individual really needs. I just thought if I found the right person that everything would work out in the end, but what really happen they would leave feeling betrayed by their feelings towards me and even hating me. I was so selfish thinking that if they knew they would not like me and that is why I have kept it such a secret. Having a partner for over 22 years left me not needing to worry about it, I thought. When I became single and realized when two people really like each other, lies are not good and who am I protecting anyway, other than my feelings of rejection, I was making it harder because sex was going to come in the picture sooner or later, I certainly was not doing anything until I told them, What a fool I was to think, if you cared about me it would not matter. What mattered was messing with the feelings of others who really did care and love me, I just wanted to be truthful, but to be truthful would have been, if I had told them at beginning, no way would I ever put someone in a situation that would harm them. How easy did I think it was going to be? to tell someone when it came down to sex or just making love? I would start with telling them there is something you need to know, and man how scared I was, the pressure was harder than it would have been just being truthful in the first place. In my heart I knew that they were going to probably hate me, this was my fault and whatever happen I deserved. You have to understand I just wanted that feeling of being normal even if it was for a little while, the worst part of it is the person cared so much for me and that was so unfair to even ask them to understand and I couldn't even imagine how scared they were, what did I expect? Just what happen, me standing there, just as alone as I was when I met them? All I can say to those I have hurt, I am sorry, it doesn't compare to the pain I feel about myself and even worse hurting you. My big secret is I am HIV positive, very healthy and undetectable, but it still doesn't take away from the fact that I will always have it. I to quit hiding behind the secret, and if someone wants to meet me it will be because they want to meet a wonderful, outgoing, caring and truly giving person. It is a new year and with this I wanted to clear my conscious in order to really start living again and begin a new life with no secrets, so if you are looking for what I have to offer then I will be waiting for you. . With all my heart and soul David Email: [email protected] P.S. Just write me if you even just one to talk, please! There is someone in the same boat your are. Life really doesn't end with HIV trust me. New Delete Mark as ▼ Move to ▼ Categories ▼ | Print Refresh] Ad feedback | Close
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