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1. WHY I AM AN HIV-POSITIVE MAN? What a crazy question. "Oh, I lost control in a blind drunk, high on nutmeg, and fucked an elephant with a tattoo that said, 'I have HIV!!!'" For me, the epidemic started when my friend Kenny Ludwig got sick in 1979. "GRID"--"Gay-Related Immune Deficiency." I'll be 57 in March. "How do I survive?" is the real $64,000 Question. "Tattered inside," is my answer. How did I get positive? Unknown virus, sex in New York, anal sex, foreskin, post-appendectomy transfusion in Italy in 1981. I have to say, this is a weird question. Does anyone else think so??? Dating Poz men? Um. Think about it. LOL. On one hand, I did't want to give Mike (who was Negative) something I wouldn't wish on anyone, and then there are the "D&D free--you be too" crowd. And I had a lover who was Poz and wouldn't use a rubber. Um. Somebody make me laugh, OK? Love, Ken You're all heroes.

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